2019.
The last writing before 2020
I have been living for more than 23 years in this beautiful world. In the world where poverty is made by the system but everyone said that it’s God’s destiny. In a world where unfair is a new fair since everyone experienced the same. I am writing this few days before 2019 ends to celebrate my feeling throughout the year.
2019 was a special year for me. Maybe because this year, I learned a lot, more than I can imagine. I started 2019 in Bali, especially in Canggu. I wore a black floral dress that I bought in a bazaar a few days before NYE. I went to a club with my internship friend and met my business camp there. I was hoping to 3 different clubs there, until the time when 2019 came with a lot of fireworks in the air just near the beach. I enjoyed dancing with my friends, forgot a while about the shit I faced. I put a high hope at that time, a new year with a new spirit and a lot of more experiences as a new jobber.
2019 has been so fun and challenging. I could say I learned a lot in 2019, about love, pain, hard work and lost. Nobody said to me that adulting could be this hard. When all you have to do is lean in yourself, because nobody could save you except yourself. To make it easy for an unstructured girl like me, I will breakdown below what I learned this year,
- Your Worst Enemy is Your Mind
I had anxiety since I was in Uni. I think a lot and over worry, especially when I was under-pressured. But I never thought that this year will be worse. My mind went crazy that turned me into a very negative person. I always thought that I am not enough. Trust me, you cannot do anything best if you always think you are not good enough. The first trust that you always have to gain is your own trust.
I read the book “A Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” that taught me a very meaningful lesson.
“You have now learned that the mind is like a fertile garden and for it to flourish, you must nurture it daily. Never let the weeds of impure thought and action take the garden of your mind. Stand guard at the gateway of your mind. Keep it healthy and strong — it will work miracles in your life if you will only let it.” ~ Robin Sharma
I do believe that our mind shapes our perception of life. The picture of the world always depends on our mind. Hence, we should invest more in our minds, since it’s key to everything.
2. Failure is Just Failure, Bounce Back!
I have told everyone that my biggest fear is a failure. Failure is a “word” that I hope it never existed. I have been grown up with a parent that always gives me pressure that “good” is “not good enough”. Until it becomes my DNA to set everything higher than my capability. I always want the best over good and never once in my life I prepare to be failed.
In reality, I failed so many times. I hit the rock bottom and had to experience pain in my ass. But one thing this year that changed me, we should see failure is not a failure. We should change “failure” into “learning”. The first time we got the learning, we should do reflection, accept the feeling without blaming everyone. The beauty of life is when we capable to face the failure and take it as a learning. Nobody, literally nobody could be a success without ever facing the failure and able to get the learning. Even Steve Jobs had to face the reality that he was being kicked out of the company that he built.
3. Do Good to People
I can say I am a people person, I value people more than anything. I love to make friends, turning a stranger to be family. I love to see good in a person that gives me the energy to be more compromise. “No one perfect and no one 100% match with you”.
As an extrovert person, I always gain energy from people. I am easily making friends even when a stranger I have just met on the train. I will only quite with new people that I am not really comfortable with.
“Do good to people” is an ultimate key to survive in life. Always do good even no one noticed. The universe will always find a way to give back what you were throwing. A few days ago, I order gocar to go back to my place. In the middle of the road, the driver said he needs to pick up food for his kids. I agreed to wait in the car. A few minutes later, he brought me a meat soup and convinced me to take it as a gift for me who waited for him in the car. Do you know? I often do it whenever I made my gocar/ gojek driver stop by in the minimarket. Whoaah, universe always has good karma and a bad one.
This year, I also got new friends with a good soul. They always there to support whatever happens in my life. I am thankful to have lovable souls like them.
4. Wear Your Confidence every day!
Yeah, being comfortable in your own skin is not easy nowadays. When social media and all the cosmetic ads keep doing their communication to make you feel there’s always be something you need to change. Do you know? not all the 10 steps of skincare or expensive makeup that make you confident. It’s the way you see yourself!
I am not always confident, but this year told me something, “Hey dude, you are good enough! Speak louder and tell them your opinion”.
