Everybody is an Onion
A person is like an onion, who has every layer with every story in it. At the first time, we meet someone, we always start with, “Hey, I am Efril, nice to meet you”. At the beginning of every relationship, there will always start with general information of a person, like what’s his/ her name, where does she/ he comes from, etc. It called the first layer of a person. The first layer is the outer skin that everyone will show to everyone. It doesn’t require any extra energy to get to know it, even the receptionist at the hotel you have just visited will get to know it easily.
After the first meeting or conversation to get to know the first layer of a person, our mind will decide whether we want to know more or not. For some people that you find interesting, you will tend to get to know them more. Through a conversation, you will deep dive to know more and peel off more layers. The second layer might be about how many siblings they have, what’s their job. The third layer might be about their hobbies, life planning, what’s they like and don’t like. And the deeper layer that you’re trying to peel, the more personal information you will get. But bare in mind that peel off every layer of the onion is require self-disclosure or openness. It is an ability to open to people. In a relationship, self-disclosure is a key to get to know one another better. There’s an unwritten and natural law, that you tend to be open to someone who opens to you. Because the conversation will be going that way naturally unless it’s an interview.
In my age now, I might be already peeling of a dozen people’s layers. Some of them might be only stopped in the first layer. And the others might be until the fourth or fifth layers. The interesting part about it, you will never know how deep it is since there’s no definition of how deep is deep. In some cases, you feel like you already know a person that deep even you are sure that there’s no layer left. Then you found something you never knew before about this person. Even you as a person, never known the core onion of your own self.
Talking about peeling an onion, there will always be two different perceptions toward that onion. Either you like her/ him more or dislike. As we know, every person has a secret, a preference that the more you find it the more you prefer not to be with that person. It’s maybe one of the reasons why the relationship broke up.
Peeling an onion is require time and energy. It also requires your willingness to be peeled off by others and the most important requirement is trust. From my experiences, whenever I am being peeled off by someone, there is always a sound in my mind “how if this person doesn’t like me with this truth?”. By that fear, I tend to be open only with someone I trust. The other unwritten advice is to be careful who you trust.
