The Pain of Being Extrovert

I am 96% extrovert

I will start this writing with the definition of Extrovert vs Introvert. If you are in the middle, you can be an ambivert (in between). According to FastCompany.com the definition of each personality is like below,

Introverts (or those of us with introverted tendencies) tend to recharge by spending time alone. They lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds.

Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from other people. Extroverts actually find their energy is sapped when they spend too much time alone. They recharge by being social.

As the one who gains energy from social interaction, it’s somehow painful for me when I am not able to meet my people. At the same time, I am trying my best not to be too attached to only one person. Hence, I always manage to meet more than only a person. I am afraid of being too attached to a person since I am not ready with the feeling when I have to lose the person. Learning from my past, people come and go. Some people who are very close to me in the past are no longer talking to me. Most of the time, it’s because of lacking communication or simply not being together.

Being an extrovert is somehow fun, I can get along with most of the people that I met. It’s always easy for me to adapt to new environment and even though I travel alone, I will always bring back a new friend. All the bright sides always followed by the pain I think. So, here’s the pain to be an extrovert:

Being Emotionally Dependent

Being independent both financially & emotionally is always be my aspiration. At the moment, I succeeded in being financially independent, at least I have the income to provide my own life. But how about emotionally? I can say I am far from independent. Even though I can stay single for long and never aspire to be attached to someone, but still in daily life, I always need ears to listen to the story and need their stories too. Whatever emotion that I feel, I always need my people to share my stories. I still remember the time that I have been assigned my company to handle a rural area and being alone all the time, I always had a call with my friends. I always need people, it’s the pain that I hate. In my situation, I can be really picky when it comes to telling my pain, I can only share with my close one. Hence it’s always painful when my friends aren’t available for me. NO, it’s not their mistake.. everybody is not available all the time.

Feeling Lonely

I hate to use this word, but it’s the only right word that I can use. On weekdays I always busy due to my daily job and activities. But when it comes to the weekend, I feel that word, being lonely. I hate feeling lonely since it feels so pathetic. It sounds desperate but I cannot lie. That’s what I feel when I find myself alone without activity. There was a day when I set my weekend schedule pack, but again in the night when I find my self hard to sleep, I feel that feeling again.

To tackle two main pains above, I always trying my best to keep my self busy. Read books, wash my own clothes, sign up online classes, gym, and having a regular sanity check with my close friends. I hate being extrovert, I hate being drained when I am alone.